Top 5 Ways You Can Tell Your Submission is Ego-Driven

Submission is a conscious choice rooted in self-awareness, trust, and accountability. When it becomes driven by ego rather than awareness, it turns into a self-centered performance. Below are the top five ways to recognize when your submission is being led by ego rather than intention.

5. You avoid your own autonomy.

Submission is not the absence of agency. It does not permit you to avoid accountability or responsibility. True submission doesn’t erase the self, it enhances it.

4. You submit to be seen, not to serve.

Submission is humble. If your primary motivation is praise and validation, your focus is inward. Genuine submission centers the Dominant’s authority, not your own image.

3. You need constant reassurance.

Occasional reassurance is typical. Constant reassurance indicates you expect your Dominant to prop up your fragile self-esteem.

2. You seek recognition.

Submission doesn’t keep score. If you frequently want your Dominant to highlight how much you’ve done or how much you have endured, your submission has become transactional. True submission is a personal practice of devotion.

1. You resist correction.

Correction is essential to growth. If feedback feels like a personal attack, ego is blocking your ability to learn what your Dominant is guiding you toward.  

Ego-driven submission is shallow. Noticing where ego shows up in your submission is an opportunity to deepen awareness. Going deeper in your practice allows you to release the ego’s need to control the dynamic, leaving space for trust, discipline, and presence to emerge.